*tap tap* Is This Thing On?

Well, well, well. Look who’s back!

It’s me. I’m the one who’s back, 4.5 years after my last post.

I’m working on another project and needed an example of a certain graphic-y thing to send to a graphic designer (you know, someone who wouldn’t say “graphic-y”). I was sure I had an example of it somewhere on this blog, so I scrolled through all these of posts from a literal lifetime ago. I didn’t find what I wanted to send to the graphic designer, but did find something else: my love for this space.

Life has changed in immeasurable ways since my last post in 2019. I found out my marriage was not what I thought it was, sold our house, and separated from my husband. I moved back to my hometown with my daughters for the summer and took up residence in the security of my childhood bedroom. I fell apart then fell apart some more, with amazing friends and family on standby to pick up the splinters of me and help put me back together again, gently when I needed and with force when I needed. I got a new job, got a new place, got a book deal, got on national television, got seen for who I am and the work I do. I got divorced and got my groove back like Stella, with suitors (both worthy and unworthy — you can focus on the failure or you can focus on the lesson) helping to reshape my heart to one that is open, trusting, and sure of what it deserves. Only one man so far has made it to the level of meeting my kids — it was one time, they actually learned his real name, and then it all went to shit shortly after, ha!

My kids. The ones who inspired me to create this space for myself in the first place. They are without a doubt the most magical and most earthen beings I could ever imagine. From my body but somehow from the skies too, they’ve been growing into their own selves as we grow together in a new form of family.

Motherhood has taken on a different flavour over the last few years. The sour taste of life’s disruptions is overpowered at times by the sweetness of the enduring love of and for my children. Co-parenting’s tartness lasts on the tongue, but this new life where “wife” is no longer means that there’s enough spice balancing who I am as a mother with who I am as just me.

I think it’ll be nice to dust this place off and come back around to share more about motherhood in this phase of life. Hopefully you’ll stick around to share in it, too.

xo, Bee